Wife and A Life at 30 (+)!: My Remembrance.

My Dad playing pipes for one of his fallen officers at his old police dept.

Land of the free because of the brave. I think about that on this day, and many other days. I am thankful for this country (although I do not agree with a lot and I think Americans (it's America too, not 'Merica- Have respect and get it right.) have a lot of growing up to do and many need to realize that really you aren't entitled to anything.. that is a whole different blog post). But still, I am thankful for this country and our freedom, and for the most part our safety. It's a scary world out there and my heart goes out to those who live in fear everyday. My heart also goes out to those who have lost someone in the line of duty while trying to protect the rest of us. For that I will post this pic as I feel it has some significance during this holiday. Actually 2 pics.

My Grandpa. Thanks for protecting us and being a pretty amazing Grandpa.

On with the original post. I would of felt bad had I posted this blog all about me and my feelings without recognizing what Memorial Day is all about. But, it comes with another significance and remembrance for me.

As I started to think about this new blog post, my title thought was "one year later," but it's not

one year later. It's now been two. Two years. It seems so long ago (not really) but in the same breath it is

still just as real, just as vivid as the day it all happened. One year ago today I arrived in SLC not

knowing that it was a moment that would forever change our lives and that flight I took was a

one way flight not bringing me back to Bozeman, to our little home until a year later. And signing consent for life saving measure of the two little I was carrying. (Ha, as I read through and proof read I noticed I said One year ago today, I will just leave it. Almost one year ago today we were planning our return to Bozeman.)

We spent this weekend in SLC. We originally planned to go because it was a long weekend for

Andy with work. But then realized there was a little more significance in going than just that.

Now we are driving home. A day earlier than we would of liked. But, the kiddos are wore out,

Was hoping for a better pic of all of us in front of this wonderful place. But this is what I captured.
you can see a piece of my heart hanging there.

although they were so good. They are just almost-2-year- olds that are busy and on the go. They are pretty routine for naps and bedtime so disrupting that makes for some long interesting naps and bedtimes. I can't blame them. But they truly were Champs. We went to the zoo, walks in the park, played at parks, and spent a day at liberty park. We got to make one visit to the U which was great to see those who cared for us. Although I was hoping for a 2nd visit to drop off some gifts and see a few more friends.

I love this state and the area of SLC. Prior to coming here I was already a UTE fan Thanks to a

group of friends I have in the area. I already said "yeah, they are right when they say the

greatest snow on earth." And now, I feel a piece of my heart lies in SLC. I feel peace and

comfort in SLC. Sometimes on this Journey you feel alone, because your story is one that

nobody gets. nobody understand, and when one tries to comfort or offer their words they

are all the things you don't want to hear. One day we were at the park in sugarhouse. I saw

this Mom carrying around her little baby and I noticed she had on "the oxygen stickers." I went

and introduced myself to her, listened to her story and shared my story. You instantly feel a

connection. It's funny how we all say the same things. Her first comment was "I feel this stress just weighing on my shoulders." I feel it too dear, I definitely feel it. As we were getting ready to leave and were walking a way she came running from across the park and said "I have a really weird question for you but I am just going to

ask." She said "can we be facebook friends? Nobody gets it and it's so nice to talk to someone

who gets it." Yes, we can be facebook friends. I get it, I so get it. That simple little

conversation meant so much to me and touched my heart. It helps to validate my feelings, that they are real, and they are normal (I am not crazy).

Our trip was good. Cut short and missed out on some things that I really wanted to do but, it's how it goes now days I guess. Saw some friends and missed out on seeing some and met some knew people (I am believer that all paths cross for a reason).

Oh, and one more story. Andy and I wanted to go out to eat on our own. That didn't happen and we are completely okay with that. We had to places we wanted to go to. We chose the Bistro as they have the best BACON cheese burgers in the world. The kiddos were restless, tired, and not wanting to be in a quite dining area. This made for a stressful, not so much enjoyable dinner for Andy and I. He took the twins out as I tried quickly to finish my burger and deal with Ziah. Their was a large table across from us (this place is very small, maybe 10 tables. But there bacon is worth a million dollars...seriously). As I finished eating, holding Ziah, payed the bill, and cleaned up the mess on the floor and on the table (everyone should be a server at some point in their life and then you would never complain about service, food, and you would clean up after yourself...take note) but as I gather up everything, the table across from me (much older adults) started clapping and said "Good Job Mom, You are a Good Mom, We have all been there." As I fought back tears I said "Thank you" which I wanted to follow up with "you have no idea," but I let that go. I was so thankful and touched by there awareness and kindness.

Here are a few phone pics from the weekend. I have better ones on my camera. Not going to get them on here tonight. I feel like I am leaving this blog unfinished. There is probably more to say. But for now this is it.

"You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it."