June

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June 2, 2014: So 10 months! Wow! How are we here. Like I said it is both a happy time and emotional time. Many times I look back and feel like we have missed out and have been robbed of the way things "should be." It's sometimes is worse being home here in Montana, looking at our life in boxes, and the nursery that they have yet to use. But then this is our "normal" and I am thankful everyday for the smiles I get from these two and the amount of happiness that they have and that they bring to Andy and I.  We continue to just take it one day at a time. 

Zoe continues to be her funny, crazy, wild self. She started to show a temper these last two days. Let's just hope that it is due to teeth coming in and not feeling well. She has two top teeth coming in, learned to stand 2 days ago, and last night showed us she could do a small little crawl vs scoot. She is full of happiness, thinks she is so funny, loves to snuggle, go for stroller rides, take a bath, play with Maddie, Mom, and Dad. Loves to play guitar with her Dad. Oh, I almost forgot- Zoe has started to show great interest in her brother, although she is a bit rough.

Snotty noses and all we can still get some smiles. 

Zayne is one tough kiddo. Even being as sick as he is, he still shows us his happy little self. He can sit, he can scoot on his back. He too loves to take a bath, loves to sit with his Dad on the couch at night, and I think his most favorite is giving kisses. He is such a kind hearted, sweet, loving little boy. He is also Mister sensitive. Sometimes Zoe can't even put a finger on him with out tears, yet he can kick  Zoe in the head and she finds it funny. It is so fun to finally watch them have interest in each other and interact with each other a little bit. Zayne is also working hard on his feedings, I continue to tell him he has to have cake and ice  cream on his Bday, I think he is finally striving to reach the same goal.

They had their 10 month appointment which went great. Zoe weighs in at 17# 5oz. and Zayne weighs in at 16# 6oz. They both had to go on antibiotics for colds and Zayne had his first ear infection. Not fun for Mom and Dad. I can't stress enough the importance of not coming around to visit Z&Z if you are sick, been sick, or been around people who are sick. It's a simple request that we ask and hope you will respect.

 Zoe and Zayne had their 3 week check-up after being sick and on antibiotics. It was really a check-up for Zayne but we snuck in a quick peak for Zoe. They both got a clean bill of health which was a relief. Zayne is up to 17# 2oz. And Zoe at her 10 month appt. was 17# 5 oz. I would imagine now she is a bit over 18# mark. Both are doing great. Both are so busy. Zoe is on the go. Busy, Busy, Busy. She is crawling every where and has learned to stand (June 1st) and pull herself up on everything. She is into everything also and finds that anything that is not a toy is the coolest. She loves her swimming pool in the back yard, and loves it even more when we go to the big pool. She is full of spunk, fearless, and finds herself comical.

 Zayne is also doing great. Andy and him have their evening work out sessions. He finally can roll from his tummy to back and is getting so, so much better at holding his head up while on his tummy. We are working on rolling from back to tummy. He too loves the pool. Their new thing this month is waving. They love to wave at anyone and everyone and they are so proud of themselves. The two (mostly Zayne) of them are getting better about playing in each others territory and Zayne is becoming more tolerable of his sister. He continues to be a fan of the camera. Loves to flirt with the ladies where ever he goes, and continues to give out kisses. He is such a sweet boy. 

Life continues to be busy. I imagine that it will remain this way for the foreseeable future, although I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are truly blessed. It’s good to be back in Montana. Although we miss Utah. It is nice to be here. We are getting settled more and more each day. We are developing our routine and working on our schedule. This has been challenging and I give Zoe and Zayne credit for how well they are for all they have been through. It was hard to develop our own routine and schedule while in Utah. It was really one foot in front of the other, one day at a time, and survival mode. I give Andy and I even more credit. It is much more relaxing being home,somehow we do find time to relax.  

Zayne had his pulmonology appointment in Billings. We have been anticipating this appointment since it was with a new Dr. (the only one in the state) and one that I am sure we will be getting to know well. He was impressed with Zayne and how well he is doing. He really did not make any changes with Zayne and his oxygen, only a few minor med changes. He too said had he “first heard our story,” and then “met Zayne,” he would not believe he is the kid that belong to the story. He said “Yes, essentially he should not be here today.” Andy and I both know that Zayne is doing great, better than anyone(many, many Doctors) anticipated. The hard part is that they always talk about how “bad his lungs are,” “he has very bad chronic lungs,” “very bad BPD,” or “his lungs are very small and damaged.” What it comes down to is that Zayne is doing great, amazing, and way better than expected. The bottom line is that we can’t argue with the results. Therefore, it makes it hard for these Doctors to know how Zayne will do and when he will come off of oxygen, what we do know is it is going to take time and be a slow process. Andy and I are completely prepared and accepting of this. Every day we look at him and every day we are with him and see what a fighter he is, we know how well he is doing and he will continue to improve and get stronger every day. All-in-all we felt good leaving the appointment. We joked that it was a far better experience leaving Billings clinic this time around vs last April.

We stopped by to see my Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor who gave us the news about Zayne last April. I still vividly remember him having  us come sit in his office and telling us that Baby B was in “grave danger,” that it was a “poor outcome for baby B,” and “slim chance of survival.” Andy and I were talking before going to Billings that we will never forget how at the end of the appointment he reclined back in his chair and crossed his legs and said what I will say is this “these guys prove me wrong all the time,” “I find it shocking how well Baby B is doing right now.” We knew then we had a fighter on our hands. This Doctor also told me, there is nothing we can do at this time-It is out of our hands, all you can do is have “hope and faith.” It is those words of encouragement, knowing it was out of my control that got me through this. That Doctor is truly a Saint, a walking angel. He gave me hope without even knowing it and I continued the rest of the pregnancy holding on to hope and faith, it’s all I had. I joke that I prayed more in the 33 weeks of pregnancy than I have my whole life. So, we stopped to see him and I was so proud to show off two babies too him. He was so glad to see the 4 of us, he was genuine and heartfelt. He told us he really gets attached to his patients and that it was hard for him to send us to SLC, but now he knows we were where we needed to be. At the end he told us to keep in touch, I gave him two pictures of Zoe and Zayne and I said please share our story and give other Moms and Dads hope.

The most Mountain goats I have ever seen at once.

We went from Billings to Red lodge and spent two nights in Red Lodge on a little well deserved mini vaca. It was so nice to get away. We took the kiddos swimming, went out for dinner one night, drove the bear tooth highway, and had a BBQ with friends. We saw a huge heard of Mountain goats on our drive up the Bear Tooth Highway. We stopped to take pictures, of course I didn’t have my zoom lense with. But, It was so cool because I saw a Mama out by herself with her baby and as I looked closer I saw that she was a Mama of twins…two little babies following behind her. We then got back to our little place and Andy went to let the dogs out and right on our patio was a 2-ish year old Black Bear. This is why we love Montana. The kiddos were great the whole time we were away. We really couldn’t expect any better

Little black bear that was right on our deck. 

Her Favorite. She loves the water. 

He loved being able to go in the floaty. Andy was so proud of this thrift store find :)

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So what else for June? Andy’s Aunt Connie and Grandma Lorraine came to visit. It was so great to have them here and have them help out. Andy’s Grandma has eagerly been waiting to see the babies. I am so grateful she made the trip out here. Truly, truly treasured memories.  And what a hoot that woman is, I hope I grow old like her. I can’t Thank the two of them enough for all their help. Andy and I were able to have a garage sale while they were here. We are in the process of minimizing. I feel we literally sold half of our Garage and Crawl space,with more to go. It is such a great feeling. Over this past year we have realized more than ever what is important in life. Needs vs. wants. We joke that we could live in a tent and be completely happy. Live simply! We have been home for a month and we still have no TV. I love it and Andy actually admits he two really enjoys it and doesn’t miss it (come football season that may change). But it is so wonderful. We spend great quality time in the evening with the babies just listening to music. It is so calming and relaxing. And although Andy and I don’t get a whole lot of one on one time just hanging with them in the evenings listening to music and playing is somehow calming and relaxing for both of us. I am also so thrilled that their room is complete and actually in use (well sort-of) and looks like a nursery. It actually brought tears to my eyes as it got done and was somewhat healing for me. It was always hard to come back to Bozeman for a visit and look at the nursery we never got to use and also knowing I never put up a second crib in fear of losing Zayne. Now it feels complete. And... Somehow I will make it work for 3 in there. Although at this time Zayne is in our room for the foreseeable future.  

My Dad and Grandma also came to visit us in June. It has been a busy month for us. My Dad has a pretty big soft spot in his heart for Zayne, and Zayne is pretty fond of his Grandpa scooter. He brought his bag pipes again so Zayne got to hear his music.  It was also nice having these two out for a visit. 

We finally had our first OB appointment here in Bozeman for Baby C. All continues to be going well and over all I feel great. What a blessing. I really have no complaints.  It is nice to establish care here with my doctor and talk about our plan. I am working hard at trying to enjoy a nice normal pregnancy. I definitely  don't take for granted being able to go for walks or the minor complaints that come with pregnancy. I am thankful for every evening  we walk we get. 

All dressed up for a friends wedding we went to. 

I am not sure why I have not posted this blog. I keep coming back to it thinking I have missed stuff (I want to capture it all) I am sure I do miss things. But for now... This is June. Time fly's.