Wife and A Life at 30 (+)!: Crazier timez!

I keep telling myself I have to get this post done and up to date before Halloween. It's weird how time goes so fast but yet I look back on what I need/want to blog about and it all seems so long ago when really I have about 10 days to reflect back on.

Little, but needed stitches and it sure left a goose egg!

October 20, 2015: My last blog post talked of my crazy week I had with someone falling off a bed, off a chair, items being thrown down the vents, red bull cans be dumped on someone. I thought that week was crazy and that maybe just maybe things would calm down. Nope, wrong! Words of advice Never let you guard down or turn your back on twins! and whoever said that the first year with twins is the toughest- LIED! So on this morning we woke and had our normal routine. Breakfast, diapers, get dressed, play etc. I really wanted to shower and I was lucky enough that Andy was able to fit that in on his schedule where he could come watch everyone. Once done- I was hanging with the kiddos. I had yet to brush my hair out and thought I could sneak in the bedroom- they could come too- and brush it out quickly. I turned my back for a few seconds-literally. I think I got one side brushed out before I heard a loud crash and a awful scream. I look back and my heart sank. Zayne had someone managed to pull my jewelry box (which is a tall standing jewelry box) down on top of him. My guess is he pulled out a drawer and tried to climb up on it. He is a monkey and climbs everything. All of the drawers fell out on top of him, I had a hard time picking him up from under it. When I did, I immediately saw the cut on his head (luckily that was all that there was) I knew right away he needed stitches. I could barely get my words out of what happened when going to get Andy. It was awful, I felt awful. But, the kiddo is tough- He was laughing his way out the door as Andy took him to get stitches. So the two of them spent a couple hours in the ER to get one stitch (because he threw too big of a fit to get anymore) and the rest glue. Nothing like two trips to the ER in 4 days!!

Mom cried too. Broke my heart!

This little lady at her 1 month appt.

October 21, 2015: Ziah had her One month check up. All was well. She weighed in at 8# 1oz. and 19 3/4 inches. (clearly her length was wrong at delivery where they had her length at 20"- She is not shrinking). She is a wee little one. About the 5%. I asked he doctor what percent she is in, he kind of gave me a weird look (as if I shouldn't be concerned) He said "only about the 5th" I ask if he is concerned at all, and he said "nope, the red line is going up and that is what we want to see." The perfect answer. She continues to be a little sweetheart. She is pretty mellow and so patient, somehow I think she just knows that she has to be. She loves to snuggle at night. Meaning snuggle after her middle of the night feeding. I like to think she knows this is when she can get some good "mommy time" in. So, many nights I end up falling asleep in the rocker with her or on the couch- Simply because I am tired. She is just starting to smile at us this week. It is adorable.

Such a big strong girl.

A visit with one of my favorite humans. The kiddos love their Auntie Misty and She made a special trip from West Yelli just to hang with her 3 favorite kiddos.

October 24, 2015: We spent this weekend "Zayne proofing the house. We moved their bedroom into out "big" room and put ourselves into their "little" room. We also cut their door in half so that they can play in their room and I can shut the little part of the door and still see them. Some
will say what was wrong with a baby gate? Zayne will plow right through it or climb right over it.
Since we moved their room into the Big room, Zayne has slept in there every night and is no longer in our room- Which is nice (we also simply don't have room) But, also that means every dang time his sensor goes off we are getting up to check on him. You win some you lose some. Another pro.. Both Zoe and Zayne have been in bed sleeping everyday this week by 8:30. It was like a flip of a switch and all the sudden they want to be sleeping by 8-8:30. It has been a great week. Hopefully it will continue. This is why we have never fought them on their bedtimes (well to a certain extent). We feel they will fall into their own routine and pattern, and they

Playing in their card board house. A new favo

You can see the joy and excitement.

October 29, 2015: Last night was a huge step for us. We have been working hard, and been so patient with Zayne and his feedings. Again, this is a area where we do not push him. We let him drive the ship. We have always felt that Zayne will do things when he is ready. We are very picky and set in our ways when it comes to Zayne's feeding plan. He continues to be a high risk for aspiration, he has never really swallowed solid foods so we do not know how that will go and, it will take one negative feeding experience from someone else feeding him and he will have a set back. We have made it very clear that no one is to feed Zayne other than us, his therapist, and maybe Zoe here and there:) About a month ago I was attempting to feed Zayne a food pouch. He took his usual few bites and appeared done. I should say that we sit down for dinner every night and Zayne sits with us and gets little pieces of what we are having for dinner on his tray and we attempt a food pouch. On this night about a month ago when I thought he was done, he leaned in after the pouch like he wanted some (I had been attempting to spoon feed him) come to find out he did want more and wanted me to squeeze it into his mouth from the pouch. So, that has been our new way of feeding. Last night was a break through as he ate and ENTIRE pouch to himself. It literally brought tears to my eyes. I was so happy for him and he was so proud of himself. He has been doing well, we will sit on the floor and him and Zoe will share a pouch but he usually will let you know when he is done. Same thing on his therapy day, when he is done he is done, and he means business. Well last night he was happy and going after it, we let him know how proud we were when he finished the whole pouch. We have a long ways to go yet with the tube. But, baby steps...WE GOT THIS!

You got this buddy!!

Overall life has been great. It is busy and chaotic but it is good. We are adjusting well and developing our routine. I must say that I truly feel like a superhero every time I can get all 3 of them down for their nap during the day, which happens most days. Many say "I don't know how you do it, or I could never do what you are doing, or you guys are crazy." Maybe we are a bit crazy, but we love the chaos. We would like more sleep, but in time that will come too. I had a lot of fear about Ziah, I was unsure of the emotions that I felt. Looking back I think it was fear of the unknown, fear of going through what we had just went through, etc. Ziah fits into our lives perfect. It was definitely meant to be. She joined us for a reason, and I feel so lucky that we were chosen to have her as our gift. Having her showed me what a normal pregnancy is like, a normal delivery, and a normal stay in the hospital. It also opened a void that I have and a loss that I feel. It made me look back on the twins and realize how much Andy and I were robbed of (Yes, we have the two most amazing gift/miracles one could ask for but, I have learned that it is okay to be pissed about things you missed out on). I look at all the time I have spent with Ziah so far, all the little moments I have captured with her, and then I think little Zoe wasn't even home with us yet. I can't even think about the difference with her and Zayne yet as that time frame brings tears to my eyes and is still tough to deal with. 5 1/2 Months! You miss a lot in 5 1/2 months! All those little snuggles, the late night snuggles, the little smirks that turn into smiles, the cries in the middle of the night that I get to wake up to and console and snuggle, the little first, their developing personality, etc. that is all witnessed by us here in our home and not by one of our nurses that gets to tell us what happened during the day or night. It's hard, really hard. I took Ziah to have her newborn pics done, she was one week. I won't lie- there were definitely some tears. As I look back, I never got one photo of Zoe and Zayne as tiny newborns side by side, those cute little twin pictures that you see. I didn't get my first photo of them together until we were taking them home, And I didn't get to hold the two of them together until halloween when they were almost 3 months old. So, Yes there are a lot of emotions This was meant to be a blog post all on it own but somehow I wiggled it's way into this post. I will continue on it more later. Right now we are getting ready for a fun night of tricks and treats. We can't wait.

Someone once sent this to me: Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything tell God what you need and Thank Him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4: 6-7

A few more pics for enjoyment. PS. I am posting this on Halloween (It's not over yet, Goal met?) Now to work on a Halloween post.