It was one of the happiest days when I found out I was pregnant with you. Then they told us it was twins. They told me "that one is much smaller, my guess is when you come back for your next visit it will be just one (as in a one baby)." Some would be happy to hear this. I, couldn't help but go home and pray that "baby B" would grow. And so you did. And it was "Twins," Dads reaction. "They'll always have a best friend (you two need to remember that). Then I developed the beginning of complications at 12 weeks. As I sat and waited in the ER not knowing if I was losing you or not, I prayed. We did the U/S and there you both were and both of you moving. Thank you God. And from there we saw a specialist. His words baby B is in "grave danger." Most likely "will not make it." But, "I find it shocking how well B is doing (you had no fluid at that appointment)." The plan or thoughts. I would lose Baby B, lose the heart beat, lose both babies, carry a lost baby until A could be delivered, or you make it but were incompatible with life. And so I put myself on the couch. We sat there for many weeks. I rotated seats. We listened to Bob Marley, "baby don't worry about a thing, cause everything is gonna be alright." We prayed. And then more complications. That got us our private flight to Utah. From there I signed "life saving measures" for you. All but one Doctor told us you wouldn't make it. I continued to pray. To have hope. To have faith. And we made it. 33 weeks. On August 2nd you made your entrance. And even then they said, "we are doing all we can but it doesn't look good, I don't know that he will make." I continued to pray. I prayed my heart and soul out for the next 165 days on top of the 33 weeks prior. I cried when I was discharge and left our new family. Those who cared for us during the most difficult of times. And I cried the day you were discharge, we were discharged, as a family of 4. I cried when you/we left Utah and we brought you home to Montana, I cried the last day you had to be on oxygen "no more tubes in Zaynes nose," I cried when you swallowed the penny and had to have in removed in the OR under anesthesia, and when your surgery went wrong in Billings which meant another "intubation." And many tears in between. But this, It was hard for me to even make this appointment. So hard. I found myself driving, thinking of this day, and tears rolling down my face. I want to hold you in the air like the Daddy on the lion king and say "Look at me/him now." I have cried so many tears, cause I have been prepared for a loss, the worst loss. And now we take our last hurdle and cross a finish line. They said you wouldn't make and if you did, you would be incompatible with life. You Made it. They said "we don't know how long he will be on oxygen," and you came off it before you were two. And then, they said he may start school with a feeding tube. This is it buddy! We did it!
Thank you for showing us a strength like none other.
"The most beautiful view comes from the toughest climb."
