Lucky Seventeen...

I think I will continue to start all my blogs the same. I have been trying for several weeks for a update. I am just thankful that I can find time to update this blog once a month. Maybe if I could do it more often they wouldn't be quite so long.

Trying to capture a photo of the two of them at 17 months.
This sums up our days perfectly. 

So what's new? Zoe and Zayne turned 17 months (Yes, I still count months) on January 2. They are both doing great. They are busy, busy, busy. There is never a dull moment and they continue to learn more everyday. It is so fun watching their little minds grow and discover. Zoe loves to follow what her brother does. I always say "where he goes she will follow," meaning right to mischief or trouble. If it's just Zoe she will sit and play with her animals or her legos, whatever it may be. But, she keeps a close eye on Zayne and follows into whatever mischief or trouble he is getting into. She continues to be a Mama's helper. Bringing pacifiers to Zayne and Ziah, diapers, sweeping etc. Whatever it may be, she loves to help. She loves to point at pictures now and learn who is in the picture. Continues to love bath time. Loves to go for a walk. Dad says she is a great wrestler as when they are playing wrestling and he goes to pin her she just rolls over, So cute. She is not saying any words yet, but continues to learn signing and can now blow a kiss.

He is so proud of himself. 

Zayne....Zayne, Zayne, Zayne.... Where do we start. This guy is surely making up for lost time. He is crazy. Full speed all.day.long. The other day Andy says, "Zayne, I know your name means 'God is Gracious, but I am pretty sure it should be changed to 'God is insane." LOL! Then just the other night as Andy is picking up their room and as fast as he is picking up Zayne is dumping things out. Andy looks at him and says "We should take an insurance policy out on you." So funny. His newest things. He loves to climb into Ziah's crib, unassisted. At first he needed something to step up on which he creatively moved over to the crib. Now he has figured out how to do it without a step.. Now, tonight I turned my head for 30 seconds to draw up a feeding to turn around and find him standing on the table. I am sure he will be sitting on the mantel one of these days. He to continues to love baths, although he gets kicked out first most days. They have a 3 strikes your out rule when in the bathtub, meaning 3 times of standing up and you are out. 9 times out of 10 Zayne is first out of the tub. He too can blow kisses. Continues to sign, no words yet. He is working on eating and I will say the same as I always do, it's on Zayne's time. These past couple weeks we have gone backwards and his effort and participation is about 1%. He also has decided sleeping is overrated but is quickly learning that it makes you quite tired at night. He does go to bed well but likes to wake up in the middle of the night anf thinks 6am is a good time to get up and be full speed. He is definitely making up for lost time. He did have a follow up in Billings for his ears, which look great. Since we were in Billings we also saw the NP who works for his pulmonologist. It was great to see her and she was (as everyone is) so impressed with Zayne. But, I just have to share one cool thing she said that brought tears to my eyes. She and I were talking about the NP Zayne sees here, and how impressed she is with him and how my she loves him. Medical professionals always tell us "kids like him, with his lungs don't do this well, it is simply amazing." As I told her this she said "well it's true, she is telling you the truth." She said "Zayne has proved us all wrong and surpassed all odds." She goes on to say "As medical professionals we always tell our patients to believe in miracles and we never give them anything to grasp on to for this to happen, but if there was ever a reason to believe in a Miracle Zayne is one of them."

She also found it astounding that we have not had (knock on wood) any respiratory illnesses with Zayne, she really couldn't believe it. He received his second dose of synergis. So our fingers are crossed and lots of prayers that we can make it through this season with out encountering RSV. Speaking of RSV please if you are reading this say a prayer for Zayne's buddy Ira as he has RSV right now and is in Primary Childrens Hospital in the ICU and is reintubated. Update as of today 1/30/16- Ira has taken a turn for the worse and is now on ECMO. He is fighting for his life.  Please, please pray for this family and for little Ira.  Also my friend Hollie's little boy was also in the ICU due to the same thing, he has been admitted for 6 days now, they both have. So, this is why I/We are overprotective and a Mama bear, or what ever you may call it about coming here sick, washing your hands, and taking Zayne out of the house etc. It's that simple.

Happy 4 Months

I think it's safe to say she looks a wee bit like her Mama.

Little Miss Ziah. Miss happy pants. She reminds me of the little penguin on the movie Happy Feet. She is full of smiles, loves to eat, sleep, and has recently found her fist which she thinks are pretty nifty. She is a fairly good sleeper, waking up once a night still. She has not had her 4 month appointment yet but we weighed her a couple weeks ago, it's inaccurate as she had all her clothes on and a diaper but she was about 12# 10oz.  She is growing so fast. It seems like in the last month she just put on some chunk. So cute and so fun. She still fits into some 3 month clothes but is quickly growing out of them. We are so in love with her.

Zoe is approximately 20# 10oz
Zayne is approximately 19# 8oz.
Both are wearing 12month clothes just starting to move into 12-18 or 18 months.

Pow Days make us Smile.

So what else? Andy and I got sneak away on MLK day as he was off. We went to Bridger Bowl and actually got to have a snowboard day together. It was great, so much fun, and we even got a powder day. All the better. I was a nervous wreck leaving the kiddos but they did great. We also got to get out last night and go see our good friends Jon Wayne and the Pain play here in Bozeman. That too was great fun. Although late nights are tough when you gotta get up early. I have also got to sneak away for a few coffee dates and I think Andy has been out snowmobiling once or twice and Snowboarding. 

I have been debating going back to work. Not necessarily going back, but getting everything up-to-date so that I am able to pick up hours here and there. Either that or I am trying to get Andy to buy me a Coffee shop, or I will just go work at a coffee shop. Andy does not want me to go back at all. But for me I feel that if I quit my job I am giving up all that I have worked for. I also feel that it could be healing for me to go back, that it would help with PTSD and that I have a lot to give back to the NICU families. I would only pick up little "princess shifts" meaning 4 or 6 hours, and they would have to be weekends and not so fun hours. But, I too think that my life is not feasible for me too go back to work. Until Zayne is off oxygen and eating on his own there is a part of me that feels this is my job and this is where I belong. Also, we are so paranoid of germs and I don't know that I could work in the hospital right now with out causing some major increase in anxiety.

So that is life for now. I feel like I had so much more to write when I originally sat down to write this. Well, It's taken me 3+ days to write it. And, I guess that I am so busy that come the end of the night my brain is ready to shut down. But, I must say, we are doing great and we have a great schedule going. I may have said this before but somehow we have managed to get everyone to nap at the same time and pretty much go to the bed at the same time so that is great. For now this is my small little update. Now time for a 18 Month update. Ahh.. Just went you think you are caught up. 

"Always believe that something wonderful is about to Happen."

Pray for Ira. #Irastrong

That smile. Such a happy girl.

So precious.

They both thought that they still belong in the jumper. At the same time.

The face she is giving her Brother and Sister.

Another pic of the 3 of them

This one makes me laugh.

Loves to snuggle. This doesn't happen enough these days.

My favorite Zoe face

This is a good one. 

Little bundle.

These Moments.

Geesh... It seems like so long since I have made a blog post and when I looked back it's been less than a month. I feel like so much has happened since the last post.

My Mama loves to photograph me because I sit still and
she likes to think she is a professional

Ziah turned 3 months on December 14th. She is quickly growing, remains in 0-3 month clothing, her favorite things to do are eat, sleep, and smile. She is such a smiley little girl. She is so happy and so sweet. For the most part she is a really good sleeper, maybe waking up once during the night but not always... I will take it, and I completely don't mind getting up with her in the middle of the night for late night snuggles. But, I think it will be often that you will hear Andy and I say how sweet and smiley she is. She also loves to continue to look at her brother and sister like "What the heck is wrong with you two?"

I am 3 months old today!

Zayne had surgery on December 17th. He had ear tubes placed. We did it in Billings as we felt more comfortable being there where there is a ICU if needed and a pediatric anesthesiologist. We for the most part felt good about the surgery and how well Zayne would do. I mean, it's Zayne right? and of-course, he did great. He was a bit crabby after the surgery but he slept the whole way home from Billings (which took more like 3 hours as the roads were awful) and when he woke up in his carseat he had a smile on his face and was signing "more." Overall we were impressed with how well the surgery went. They did not intubate him and they didn't even have to put a IV in him. I also was impressed with the anesthesiologist as he showed great concern for Zayne and his lungs which is what we wanted. He had read over Zayne's chart well as he was well aware of all that Zayne had been through.

The kiddos stayed in a hotel for the first time the night prior to surgery. They loved it. We went swimming, Zoe loved the pool (she always does), Zayne not so much. He is not a fan of being cold. Zoe and Dad went off the big water slide and Zoe went fully under water coming up with a smile on her face. Andy and I were sure Zayne was not going to sleep this night as he was literally zipping all over the hotel room, he loved the big open space. We had all the lights off, Andy laying with Zoe, me with Ziah, and all you would see is a streak of red zipping through the room (he eventually wore himself out and went to bed).

So, since Zayne's surgery things have been fairly good. Prior to his surgery it was awful as he was not sleeping through the night. And as we all know "it's Zayne's way." So, when he wakes up in the middle of the night and doesn't want to go back to sleep in his crib, he's not. So there were a lot of couch sleeping nights for Andy ( I can only get up so many times in the middle of the night). Now, he is still waking up but he will go right back to sleep (usually). He has a follow up on Monday so we will see how things are looking.

I feel like December has been so hectic and so busy. I did many crafts with the kiddos and made almost all of our Christmas gifts. I made 9 hats (somehow), and I am not even sure the number of ornaments that we made. I am proud that I was able to get it all accomplished. Although sometimes it really bugs me the amount of stress and expectations that are put on holidays, especially Christmas. It really makes for the true meaning to be lost. That's why Andy and I have chose to stay here for Christmas in our own little home and enjoy the little things with each other and our little family.. making memories.

Christmas was great. Although I am just as guilty of putting unnecessary expectations on myself for what we should be doing on Christmas. I need to tell myself that "yes it is okay if we just sit around and do nothing." The kiddos don't quite understand Christmas yet or Santa. We didn't/haven't even taken them to see Santa yet as Andy says that Santa is too "germy," so we will not be going to see him. I was bummed out but... I got a Santa suit mailed to us and although Andy did not want to dress as Santa this year, He will be next year and if not him then I will do it. (I took the following pictures all prior to Christmas on random days... It these little captured moments that make me say there is not a paycheck out there that is worth missing out on all of this... We will make the sacrifices necessary).

Zayne and his wonderment of the tree.

Again blurry but there is a smile.

Blurry. I will get better at this.

Melt my heart.

Hey Zayne, Let's open Ziah's gift. 

So stinking cute. Ziah is not having it.

I love little feet and these shoes are my favorite. 

One of my favorite little outfits

She loves her sis. 

So cute

Ziah's stocking complete's the mantel. 

Eek, So stinking cute.

Thanks for cooperating Ziah

Love this.

Next to her stocking from Great Grandma Z. 

They would stand and take pictures all day long provided they get to touch the tree. 

We had crab legs and lobster on Christmas Eve and then opened gifts with the kiddos. Zoe loved to open the gifts and Zayne loved to play with the paper and boxes. Christmas day we had a ham. We took the kiddos sledding. They each went down the hill twice and then Zayne was cold and ready too go home, Zoe she would of kept going. We then drove around and look at some Christmas lights and then came home and opened a few more presents.

We did not buy the kiddos much for gifts. They have so much and we knew a lot more was coming. But, I will say they gift that was the biggest hit was their tent that has a tunnel.

This is what happens when you have to get all the kiddos down for a nap by yourself...
Eventually one will just tip over. 

This handsome man of mine.

Not having posing for the camera

Classic Family photo. 

So handsome and so proud. 

Best.gift.ever. True story.

Mama and her babies.

Love this photo.

Shortly after Christmas my Dad, Barb, and my niece Mya came out to visit. It was a great visit. It was so fun to have Mya here and open gifts with her and I know my Dad enjoyed being with all his grandkids, and Barb had never met any of the kiddos. We love to have visitors although I always feel bad as I would love to go do more things and show people Montana but loading everyone into the suburban and going to do something is like getting the circus in town. And anyone that knows us knows how much we love going and doing anything, so it does get hard to just sit here and hang out. And it's hard for me when people drive all the way here and we sit here.

But, it was a great trip with my family. We had a prime rib dinner which was amazing, we opened gifts, and afterwards Mya bought everyone the Beanboozled game which was hilarious. I laughed so hard. I even have it on video. For those who don't know beanboozled it's the jelly bean game, and you risk having to eat jelly beans that taste "exactly" like moldy cheese, stinky socks, lawn clippings, dog food, barf, and skunk spray. THEY.ARE.AWFUL. And the funniest part is Grandpa Scooter only got two good jelly beans. I laughed so hard.

Mya and I got out for a day and went to USwirl (her favorite) and got sparkles put in our hair. We later took all the kids (minus Ziah) to the hot springs which was a hit.

It's always hard having family come visit. When they leave they always take and leave a bit your heart and a bit of their heart. You always wonder if you are doing the right thing, should you move closer...etc. But, for now this is where we plan to stay...well if not here then SLC. But, I won't lie and say that it is one of the hardest things.

New years was quite interesting this year. Last year Andy and I sat up by our selves drinking wine. I posted a New Years Pic on Instagram that said Bring.It.On.2015 and boy did it ever. 3 weeks later I was calling Andy to somehow tell him "I am pregnant." This year we sat in the garage (our new living room and yes, we love it) and played sorry with Mya. It was fun. We talked a lot about our New Year Resolutions. For me I am going with the choose one word and mine is "Health." Yes. I know (just like Andy said) this is everyone's. But, I have many reasons for this and good reasons too back this up. After the past 2 years I deserve to be in the best health I can be in. And I want to do this for my family. I spent 10 weeks on bedrest inpatient, 8 at home, we spent 164 days in the NBICU (approximately 8 months total at the University of Utah hospital) and the last 16,5 months out of 24 pregnant. And I can't even count the number of Doctors appointments and PT, OT appts we have had (I should count I am sure it's well over 100). So yes...2016 is about health and wellness for me. We have many other resolutions on our list but we will keep those too ourselves for now.

2016... We are looking forward to this year. A year being home, being together under one roof, watching many first, new beginnings. A year of being together as a family making memories.

I will post this blog now as it will make me feel better but I will need to update it with more pics as this dang computer is not cooperating with me. Plus... I have so many pics...how do I narrow it all down.

Life is good.

"Today is the first blank page of a 365 page book, write a good one." (indeed we will).

He loves his Grandpa... His buddy. And he loves his chanter for the bagpipes.

She loves her cousins and is so good with them.

Sledding in the backyard, 

This gift was another huge hit. They each got their own sled. 

This good ball. 

This pic and their hair makes me laugh.

Merry Christmas to Mama. Only took 3+ Months to get a good pic of all 3 together. 

My favorite little human. 

He loved Grandpas hat and wanted to wear it all the time. 

She loves her. 

Hot springs fun. Mya won 10$ from Uncle Andy by jumping in the coldest pool there. IT'S REALLY COLD!

Buddy's

We actually managed to get a fairly good pic. of all of us.